So instead of getting the if-you-hurt-my-little-girl-youre-dead talk, i got the alcohol-is-our-friend talk, i like her dad already
tried to order jimmy johns from the ER last night, the nurses did nottt approve
I don't think we should have started that trash fire
Everyone is hammered wasted already...young, old, the dying, babies...we got them all
I never thought your mom would see me throwing up on my hands and knees in your front yard
I'm not wearing a bra, watching Netflix and eating gushers. I don't know a better way to spend a hangover.
There's a drag queen here that reminds me strongly of you. You should try crossdressing.
drinking vodka, listening 2 smh at 530am slow cooking beef stew. you'll enjoy the stew and worry abt me in the morning. bon apatite
I think i was just meant to be a stripper. A ballerina stripper cat
I seriously need to grocery shop. I have a slice of cheese, and alcohol.
she paid $15 and a box of cheerios for their acid
Awwww breaks my heart, I just wanna fix his teeth and give him a blowjob.
i was so unappreciative the bar was giving out sweatbands UNTIL I casually used it during sex.
She was doing drunken zumba and screaming "FUCK YOU I HAVE MY OWN STYLE!" at the TV
I might be a bit late, couldn't find my pants and had to go to the police station. Unrelated
Randomize
