I knew the sex would be bad when he slipped the rubber on and said "safe sex activated"
Let's create a 16 and pregnant drinking game
It may be that your sole purpose in life is simply to serve as a warning to others..
Apparently, we were running around the apartment, singing into pickles, the routinely slapped our passed out friends with them.
One of my students in my 8am class brought me a Tim Hortons cup with a bloody Mary in it. Clearly, I didn't manage to look not drunk when I ran into him at Denny's at 4am. Who decided to let me teach?
Aside from the slim chance of pregnancy, I'm gonna call last night a raging success.
He wanted to bang in the work van while we were on shift together. He convinced me with "It's like the Scooby Doo van but looks nothing like the Scooby Doo van."
People shouldn't leave you two alone together. You're just going to end up having sex.
I'm watching the Brazzers version of Mary Poppins and enjoying it. Volume on and all. 45 minutes.
it'll be okay! And just think of this ultrasound as the most action you've had in a month...
She said she didn't feel right fucking on her parents dining room table I grabbed the only thing around bubblewrap she blew me for creativity
She is carving a little coffin out of some wood for her hamster that died. I'm flying home tonight.
I think i got my first booty call. it was like she came to my house. sex. leave.
Congratulations. Welcome to the wonderful world of quick dirty secret sexy time.
thanks... i think. haha
He let me share his family pack of hot pockets with him. Chivalry isn't dead after all.
saying im screwed is like saying the titanic took on a little water.
Randomize
