a guy named alex was hitting on my friend tonight. he doesnt work on wind turbines tho.
I just tried to drunkenly fart the beat of Disturbia by Rihanna
Girls are like M&M's, once the lights go out you can't tell the difference.
I googled Canada's legal age of consent. I have good news. It's 14. Justin Bieber here I come...
I hope whoever gets these locks of love doesn't have a drug test anytime soon
He said he got a lot of action last night. I asked how much? And he said he got to see down her shirt. Freshmen never cease to amaze me.
You have no idea how much I'm praying for my moms side of the family's infertility right now
Man when i saw they were the only ones hard core grinding to the Cha Cha slide against the wall, I knew they were gonna have sex tonight.
Its like the unofficial aniversary of the loss of her virginity. And I will be giving tours of the spot they did it in and showing how I'm serious when I say the grass doesn't grow there anymore.
He told me he wanted to show me something beautiful, then just started peeing off the bridge into oncoming traffic
This stranger told me I should "start playing for the other team" and then continued to talk to me about the joys of being a lesbian
Can we go out and do something semi fancy soon? I feel like wearing a dress and pretending to be an adult.
oh so have I but I'd still suck a dick or 20 in the name of freedom.
Go ahead without me. This chick is buying me drinks and just found out her husband is cheating on her. I think I just found the next level of revenge fucking: Scorned Trophy Wife Sex
the voting booth dude cock blocked me or she woulda totally blown me in the voting booth.
Randomize
