Forget about socially acceptable. Make me happy instead
even a "fuck you" would be nice at this point.
girl! he was asleep with his back to me.he farted and i actually felt the wind blow across my leg.nice
And we will make penis cookies and eat them suggestively
Why do I always have sex on the first date when I know it demotes me to booty call girl?
Remember that crazy chick I've been ignoring and said I wouldn't bang her again? Can we start that again part today?
I'm drinking and throwing an enormous tennis ball at children. I couldn't be happier.
I feel awful
Physically or morally
Physically. The only immoral thing I did was steal money from strippers while they gave me lapdances.
hey if you're going to the hospital do you wanna pick me up a taco on your way back
I woke up this morning half naked, smelling like an ash tray, with an empty bottle of jack next to me, and now someone named Dora the anal explorer is texting me.
As we have told you before, the first rule of hook-up bingo is we don't talk about hook-up bingo
Well, while we went through airport security, I found out Mom got her clit pierced, so there's that.
Fun fact: the guy I banged last night. His middle name on his birth certificate is "Windstorm."
Do you ever just feel the storm building inside of you that tells you you're ready for a giant indiscriminate fuckfest?
We will discuss everything tomorrow i presume. Including the sweaty naked tango.
Randomize
