why didn't you poke me back
My phone auto-corrects smirnoff to poisoned. I think it is trying to tell me something.
We're so high we're finding things in the room to build a submarine with. So far we have two cardboard boxes, a piece of wood, puffy paint, and an empty bottle to use as a periscope.
I think she must be bulimic. I mean, every time I see her I know i want to throw up.
buying new sheets for when my mom visits. I can't in good conscious let her use the ones from last night
chugging beers on the train. people are staring. I would be offended if it wasn't 8:30
He's covered in dirt and enchiladas. We're going drinking now.
When I blacked in, I was crying to my father at the swim-up bar that "I was going to win an Oscar." how do you THINK Mexico was?
I'm afraid you are becoming too bourgeois with your switch from boxed wine to bottled.
If you can find a Canadian Lesbian to have pity sex with me, let me know.
You will never know an awkward moment until your parents pick you up from a one night stand.
just saw a sign in the bar that says "no more naked fridays". Where the fuck was I on these naked fridays?
I don't think Buddha would recommend a sexscpade across Mexico
you blew the guy with all the harry potter paraphanelia didn't you
I passed out while searching "symptoms of narcolepsy"...
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