Just lost my virginity while listening to rick astley. torn between horror and jubilation
i cant wait for all this BS that is happening with Tiger to happen to Tebow
There are 3 pics of me on my camera, naked, wearing only an apron, scooping ice cream.
I just walked into my exam wearing a mans tshirt and Alex's size 13 crocs twenty min late carrying only a pencil and my heels...I'm not real
Also, I threw up on the playground again. I've honestly had more fun there this past summer than I did in my entire childhood.
I just saw that blonde chick you wanna bang rolling down the hall wearing a Thor mask..
Wow. We're meant to be..
i mean, i offered you kinky, jungle themed sex. i don't know what else you want from me
Ya I know. She's self aware though, like the terminator. Which is the best kind of crazy
After last night I think its official. Deep down, we like alcohol more than we like women.
I did the walk of shame this morning and his mom hugged me in the driveway
This is the third time my roommate and I have drunkenly hooked up. I'm starting to think she's not as straight as she says she is.
Just when I thought I was growing up, I go out and TOTALLY REDEEM MYSELF
then this guy just runs in screaming, "cant you see my daughter pissed herself???!!!" and that was the start of my 2016.
This guy needs to stop asking about my feet
Best part though was when he wanted to cuddle and I was like, I'm going to go.
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