Pat told us he showed us his penis because he's "a nice guy".
Looks like I will be paying for the roofie I slipped myself in 9 months.
marching band practice is quite the interesting soundtrack to sex
i felt horrible..i wanted to somehow give him his vcard back
that's a non refundable transaction sweetheart
i have a new found respect for you. the amount of people you must have cockblocked last night is amazing
she said she's never had and orgasm AND she's a cubs fan...ouch.
Gave a homeless guy 3 bucks earlier. Just saw him at the bar. He bought one beer and left. Happy to see my 3 dollars was well spent
Change of plans I'm coming home and shotgunning all the beer we have.
I thought it was my alarm clock, turns out it was her vibrator still going off on the side of my face.
I don't see how I managed to fuck up so much shit in an hour and a half..
If I win the contest of drinking the most water I get a chicken nugget.
unless you have a dick and you were thinking of chopping that off
You having your own car has severely reduced the amount of blowjobs I get.
I just set my mike's hard down and didn't want it to spill, so I held my finger up and told it to shoosh. I'm drunk.
Bug bite on my vagina. I think we need to stop this 'sex in awesome places campaign.'
Randomize
