if i had a camp nickname it would be Flick Bean
can't believe I ate straight coffee grounds to stay awake for that
why do all canadians talk like horny gerbils are stuck in their throats?
I want to get so wasted that I make middle aged irish men look like mormon girls
Then she called me a home wrecking whore.
dont they live in a condo? that doesnt count.
I vomitted in the hotel where they film gossip girl last night. Everywhere.
that would be two times in a week with two different guys.
they have the same name so it only counts as one guy right?
i just saw some one pass a baby through the drive-thru window at dairy queen.
There's an official council for his ex boyfriends. They told me they 'look forward to the day I join them'.
There's a stoned dwarf chilling in the basement here. Maybe there are redeemable qualities about this place.
it's like I can see my whorish nature reflected back at me in his wedding ring.
dude, we need a reunion soon, my vagina needs a deep massage. The kitty is ready to play
I have more sex toys than shoes - HOW AM I SINGLE?!?!?
I tried to smoke out of half a banana, and lit my nose hair on fire. So I feel like that sums up my life pretty well.
I looked into her soul, didn't I?
You eye-fucked her soul.
Randomize
