She is totally STD
Is it a bad omen that my phone auto corrects dtf to STD
I just learned that your liver regrows itself every 2 months. Best news I've heard all week.
maybe we can find two twins tonight and bang them together and then my life is complete
After I threw him out he walked down the street peeing in stride. I almost wanted to let him back in.
She's pathetic and vulnerable..and short. Thats his type.
I was basically shocked at how calmly you accepted my violently shoving a french fry in your mouth.
We turned on "find my friends" and watched her progress. Got concerned when she didn't move for an hour on Adelaide, turned out a booty call was made, then she went back to the bars.
So because I got upset you didn't answer I threw my phone in the garbage disposal last night
Worst drunk idea ever... Me "Cops are looking for two guys, one in a grey shirt one in a blue shirt" jelly "lets take out shirts off they'll never find us" of course I thought it was brilliant
I actually had to tell him that sex doesn't replace my Tupperware. Our relationship has reached a weird level.
i think we watched the dark knight rises after you left but i might have passed out through most of it. I remember crying at the end though. sad tears then happy tears.
I'm not dealing with this wiskey dick shit, 2016 is the year of hard dicks
Everclear isn't food dammit
I just talked with someone about real estate trends in Atlanta then got three blowjobs in a row. Boom.
Do you not realize that being Batman fulfills about 95% of my non-sexual fantasies?
Randomize
