He kept asking me to take off my bra and I sat up so he could. He fumbled with it for a few minutes and when I sighed and went to undo it he goes, "Yeah, you got this."
In hindsight maybe we should have moved his homework instead of playing quarters on top of it.
i was mowing the lawn and found the coffee pot in the bushes
Couldn't see or hear that well because she hit me on the back of the head with a bat. That is my excuse. Also the gin.
He told everyone he was freezing their keys so they couldn't drive drunk. When I opened the freezer this morning, my keys were at the bottom of an unfrozen ice cream tub of vodka.
I gave an inspirational speech to a bum and called a bride ugly at her wedding reception.
i made the walk of shame wearing her booty shorts that said juicy on the back. i'm still counting it as a good night
The worst part was when I went to go spit it out and rinse my mouth, his grandpa was in the bathroom, so I had to fucking wait. It was awful. I finally ran to the kitchen and prayed his parents didn't come out of their room.
What! You have to go to class. Otherwise, you're wasting money that could have been spent on weed. Gotta get that shit in perspective.
My one regret (beside the inevitable shit storm that followed) is that now I can't fuck his cute friend.
I woke up to a stripper (who added me on Facebook) messaging me reminding me to cancel my card if I can't find it
Well he wouldn't kiss me so I made out with a German girl, took a shot with my boss, and I think I sprained my ankle. It was a quiet Sunday for me.
According to Joseph, last night I crawled into bed and told him to pretend I'm his French maid, and then started speaking with a German accent, and referring to his manbits as "ze greatest Weiner schnitzel I'd ever seen". Basically, last night was a roaring success.
I'm setting goals and achieving them. I'd say I'm quite mature for my age.
You're goal was to fuck him and you don't even remember it.
sarah's view on last night: a threesome to make things less awkward. oh, well done.
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