it hasn't hit me that college is over yet. so far at home, i haven't brushed my teeth, taken off my makeup, or changed clothes before bed.
Just wanted to let you know that I always win at "whose ex is crazier" because of you.
airport. 106 proof japanese liquor. 4 little travel size containers. im proud to be smarter than the average american.
There's a transgender game of twister in the basement...God doesnt want me to type this paper.
Nobody knows who the hobo or dude who whipped out his balls is
Like fighting the continuous urge to sing Neil diamond "coming to America" kinda fucked up right now
I may have made out with a tranny last night, which, if I don't get fired for everything else that happened, really makes last night epic.
honestly i just want a cigarette and someone to go down on me... are you interested in helping with either of those
Well for better or worse the home brew is almost done, want to get drunk/loose your sight tonight?
HOW MANY BOYS NOT ONLY APPROVE OF YOUR PLAN TO BECOME POCAHONTAS, BUT WANT TO MAKE SURE YOU DO IT RIGHT? One, the answer is one, and he is the best and if anyone ever tries to steal him I can assure you they will never be heard from again
I just plagiarized Dr. Curtis Connor's ideology from Spider-man in an essay on genetically engineered embryos. College: academic integrity at its finest.
No. There is no way we have to stoop so low as to ask your dad for weed. There has to be an alternative.
I'M IN A SPINNING VORTEX OF SELF-HATRED AND HORNINESS
Was last night real life? Like did you really light your hair on fire
And then I woke you by humping you to Lionel Ritchie.
Randomize
