Wooohooo! I'm sitting in the car like a creep watching people walk in and out of Blush. Lots of happy people.
I just woke up in bed with 4 girls. Either i dont remember the best night of my life or they think im gay.
They should really pass out barf bags in church
IM NOT LETTING YOU PEE ON ME IF THATS WHAT YOURE GETTING AT.
I hope that the reason I've been psycho on him is that I'm pregnant and not just psycho.
dude i just made a burrito by wrapping 2 packs of scooby snacks with a fruit roll up. im so high
At some point last night was I riding a garbage can.. Things are starting to come back to me
I'm like the Mother Theresa of booty calls.
I just bared my soul to you and you fell asleep. Or you're fucking your boyfriend. Either way, not cool. fuck.
Sorry if this is weird, but please don't have sex in my truck. I get to be the first...
I'm not sure how long my penis is exactly, but I will tell you it resembles a bendy straw
we watched a guy take a shot of tequila while riding a unicycle
Hiding in a kitchen with no pants orange juice abs a pillow...please joun
I haye tequella
wasn't that the evening we made out with the girls from the dental school, drank 3000 beers, almost had to beat up a guy at the strip club and James nailed some hot piece of tail and took her OSU windbreaker, which my dad went on to wear multiple times after finding it in the garage.
Yes. To all of that. Yes.
My hairdresser won’t do keratin treatments because of the toxins, but will put ecstasy up her butt at festivals...
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