At least with the last gf I made it clear that I wanted to breakup when I pissed on her floor @ 3am as her roommate watched in contempt
i have now learned nap means the same thing as sex in college
If by any chance I go to the hospital make sure you stuff a pint in my pockets so I can keep up.
Fair warning: We've transformed the living room into a giant tent.
There's a middle eastern man wearing a cow costume with tequila coming out of his udders, but I'm not sober enough to feel uncomfortable with it.
he slipped a picture of a kangaroo under my door that said "im sorry" on the back and passed out on my lawn.. who the fuck is this kid?
I was giving a campus tour, when a drunk senior came up behind me and shouted at the group, "If Jesus ain't your homeboy - get the fuck off this campus!" Looks like his religion course is paying off...
Apparently love is stronger than SoCo
We're taking a shot every time Landon Donovan takes a shot. It's clever, sort of.
What the fuck happened last night.... I woke up with a bowl half full of ravioli next to my head, reversed on my bed still fully clothed.....
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos?
What happened to you last night?
SO. MANY. SHOTS.
I have so much to do, no motivation, and Harry Potter is on. You KNOW whats taking priority in my life right now
I visited the library for the first time in my college career tonight and I got laid. I think I'm gonna come back...
Some sorority went “Dick or Treating” at a frat house and now the Halloween parties are canceled
Randomize
