she had condoms in her med. cabinet - magnums -I don't think I'm tall enough for this ride
I am watching the symphony and have decided that violin players probably give really good hand jobs.
I skipped class, don't know why though bc all I did in the meantime was cook pancakes and watch infomercials..my life sucks
I'm glad I have good healthy relationships with my one night stands
Attention: due to the power outage we will not be playing drinking games and watching the royal wedding. Bring your own bottle and we'll just drink in silence.
judging by my wet hair I would guess I showered at the bartenders apt last night?
I made $80 at the club last night by telling him he was like a wild pony and I just wanted to tame him
Dude. You stood in a corner laughing your ass off while folding clothes, facing the wall. Yes, they were weed brownies..
That's always how I imagine things at your apartment...
Good, I'm glad you don't have some weird, skewed, clothed version of reality over here.
I'll bring your "congrats on finally banging" cookies tomorrow, I'm exhausted.
So you're at your daughter's volleyball game looking at dicks online? That's amazing.
No, I was picking her up from volleyball and sitting in my car looking at dicks.
There is a time and place for BDSM, in-between disney sing-alongs is not one of them.
And now let us go forth, and be garbage people in public.
Isn't that our default mode?
Like, I don't need to know your life dude. I just need you to suck my tits.
I just want to nap all the time and eat Chinese food.
Randomize
