and then he said that some chick told him he danced like an epileptic on crystal meth. he then proceeded to demonstrate this statement, which i can testify is 100% accurate.
yup put them legs up on your shoulders and eat her like some folgers
eat her like coffee?
Two kids are drinking pounders in class. I think I'm hanging out with the wrong group of friends.
white shorts are a girls way of saying "im ready to fuck cuz its not my time of month"
this is the second time in my life i thought i might need to go to rehab. im including all the mornings that i wake up in dewey beach as "the first time"
We are casual work acquaintances that occasionally fuck when the urge strikes. CWATOFWTUS. I know FWB rolls off the tongue better but it is what it is.
You came in as I got off work, ordered us jack and cokes. Put them on my tab, and then proceeded to fall asleep on the bar.
I got called a drunken housewife today in class. I'm proud, not many people can say they've achieved their life goals like I have by the time they turn 20
Just paid off my possession ticket on 4/20. Helloooo awesome.
Every bar we ever go to has a woman there who hates him. Getting so much vagina has never seemed so not glorious
Guess who just made out with Sloth from The Goonies!
Woke up in the ER with a nurse holding my tongue together inside of my mouth and a shattered jaw, the last thing I remember is opening the 151, care to fill me in?
Were you the one who yelled "FOR GLORYHOLE!" then punched a hole through my door?
Yes ma'am. I'm attracted to unconventional people, you know that.
True. I can't judge, half of my sexual partners I only know a false first name & a number. We all have our kinks.
He may be a manwhore, but he’s a very well endowed manwhore
That’s an important feature when it comes to a manwhore
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