Thanks for the three minutes of sex tonight.
No. You are not the Kate in this relationship. I will do what I want.
idk, i just don't think periods are something you can catch in a little cup.
i just looked up and i was like omg ballsack and then i didnt know what to do
And i generally try not to roofie people when I'm in a committed relationship.
Accidentally just signed something at work 'lotus flower' I need to keep my stripper life separate from real life.
The guy I fucked last night is well worth up the ass tuition. I just wish I could tell dad thanks!
Its only tuesday and I need a dd home from work. This is getting too easy.
Dude, fuck the siberian warm up. You can't put vodka in hot chocolate. Learn from my mistakes
Who knows? Maybe we can sing afternoon delight into each other's genitals.
Just opened up the freezer to find chocolate penis popsicles. Too hungover for this shit
Dude. There are selfies on my phone of me, wide-eyed, sucking my pillow. We did NOT split that bag 50/50.
You were a for sure 10. You put on a traffic cone to meet someone.
I have banged to "The Emperor's New Groove" way more than could possibly be reasonable.
In case you're wondering... Yes walmart will judge you for buying vodka and pickles at 645am.
Randomize
