i have a strong urge to join the asians in the park doing tai chi. I think im still high .
Nights of college: 1. Virgins: 1. Yes.
We need to start having sex underwater more often.
Please know that I fully expect you to help me steal a bed if I have a bad breakup.
This is going to be a 3 day beach sex fest. Do you understand
Some guy just stopped me in the bar and asked if I had a shot named after me at another bar called God damn my VaJana hurts? He already knew my name was Jana so I couldn't deny it!
Petty good. I just stapled a 5 dollar bill onto the chest of a sword swallower.
I was passed out in a dog food bowl tor two hours. Just tapped my dinner beer. I love homecoming.
There should be a rule.......that if you have a small penis you must wear a hat with propellers on it so you can fly the hell off the planet.
Note to self don't give these guys your number. I've seen more dick tonight than a proctologist sees his whole career
I stole all of the toasting champagne and did an interpretive dance to "wind beneath my wings". I am literally everything you're not supposed to do at weddings.
But your showmanship is impeccable.
If you had a dick, I would hope it falls off and comes back to haunt you while fucking your ears at night. But you don't. But if you did, that's how mad I am at you
He told me that after two hours of fucking he feels as though his dick wants to detach from his body and go to Mexico..
you pulled out seven eyelashes and made me count them multiple times whilst crying hysterically.
I'm sorry i showed you my boobs.. I probably shouldn't have done that.
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