At chipotle, there's a bachelorette party starting out the night here, i'm going to let you imagine what the bride to be looks like
Going to get tested monday. You're coming with. Bonding time, slut style.
They're donating plasma together for extra money. Couple of the fucking century.
This is a drunk text message. I am so glad that we are friends. Tomorrow we will eat sandwiches in miniature. We both love dogs. Flower.
Don't play hard to get, I've seen some of the girls you've slept with.
but then i turned into a human whiteboard because i thought it was a good idea to bring out markers
there's a picture of him beating off in the library with a cowboy hat. please steer clear of this one if you ever want to be respected.
trying to line up a DD for St Pats Day. i guarantee i will put out. or puke and pass out. really its 50/50 at this point.
You know me. im down for anything that could harm my well being. lets dress like dolphins so everyone will see what dicks they are.
What part of I'm done do you not understand? Im not going to send you sex photos to prove I've moved on..
took some adderal to make my alochol withdrawl less shitty. now im just concentrating on how badly i need a drink
Am I supposed to get so horny by looking at your dick that I start orgasming uncontrollably
Hypothetically speaking how does one remove a lamp that they hypothetically superglued to the ceiling?
Acetone nail polish remover, and you lied about studying last night didn't you?
Oh definitely.
You're a mystery wrapped in an enigma wrapped in a redhead
I am high. And my mom surpised me today. Now i am high and with my mom....bad idea
Randomize
