He saved me in his phone as Easy Jen. Should I be offended?
I wouldn't worry about it. He has me as "Sex Puppet."
I really love her but I don't think I can go the rest of my life without anal.
after last night i think it would be a good idea if i wrote a will... you know, just in case.
I did the walk of shame to church this morning.
hooker boots and all?
Yep. People looked at me like I was the prodigal daughter returning home. Full of sins but welcome anyway.
she fell through a window trying to flash someone
You can't just send the picture of my vagina back to me, 2 months after we broke up, and make small talk out of it.
I'm high and reading a Wikipedia article on circumcision procedure. Help.
I'm gonna eat more dunkaroos to cope with what's in my vagina.
You left me a drunk voicemail of you describing your pizza to me at 2 AM
So there I was, eye fucking the waiter and I spilled beer all down my boobs
I remember eating bacon bits off your chest that night... I'll never look at bacon pizza the same way
Damn it. If you ever throw me again, take video.
I'm done, I have no more memes or ways to ask for nudes, so yeah
In other news I was masturbating last night and came really fucking hard to the thought of yelling at a customer....
Who else has a jello penis in their fridge?!
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