so my bro's bff came over...we had an awkward "yeah we fucked and can fuck later, but let's just pretend it didn't happen in front of the family" hug.
this girl walked outta his room as i was walkin in to scottys and i just say " time for the walk of shame baby! whoooo!". she ran away
why do all the strippers look like they came from fraggle rock
i am positive it's ok to drink. it's just pieces of the plastic knife i forgot was in the blender.
So I'm probably the first guy in history to tap out of a blowjob.
You kept saying "sir officer" which would have been polite and helped you if it wasn't a female. She was pissed.
i wasn't about to bring her gummy handcuffs to her father's funeral
That big chick who gave you the handly polished off one of the walls to the ginger bread house right before she came outside. FYI
I feel my soul being ripped out of my eye sockets
I'm all set for mothers day, I let her beat me in beer pong.
We were drunk having sex and I knocked over her bedside table/fish bowl and she jumped off to check if her fish was still alive but she made me pasta so it's cool
yeah that bottle of rum is only the second thing I want that kid to be pulling out of his pants
Whose dick am I looking at? There are too many possibilities at the moment.
Vacuum the place before you go out of town there are random glitter cocks everywhere
When I woke up today i said I will NOT sleep with her. This morning I did the walk of shame into work wearing the same clothes... How was your Monday?
Randomize
