her vagina looked like a handful of raisins.
you threw up in thedumpster behind red robin
and kept yelling "DIRTY BIRD"
the ice cream truck is coming omgomg
dude, it's 2 am.
but its COMING
You ran away and I found you three blocks later lying by a dumpster because "that's where your life belongs"
having sex with you is like teaching a dog to tango, it DOESN'T work
sent the pic of my tit to the wrong bbm chatroom
May God have mercy on my new vibrator.
Dude its so hot it my room I can't jack off. Its gonna be a long summer.
No I got myself stoned. With her bowl. She was just a casualty of the War on Sobriety.
The drag queen we did coke with is going to be on Ru Paul's drag race. I feel so proud.
I am not betting on the failure of any friend that is not you.
You were so high that you only FaceTimed me so that you could stare into your own eyes and not actually say anything
This makes me appreciate being single with no prospects.
MUFFINS DON'T MAKE YOU ORGASM MULTIPLE TIMES OR HAVE ROCK HARD MUSCLES.
I'm not gonna lie, but for some reason I have this strong desire to watch porn with my pint of haagen das.
Randomize
