if all i could do was poop and smoke weed, i'd be eternally happy
amen to that sister
I really hope I'm not the first person who's had to wash vomit off of cash and credit cards.
After doing lines off my chest, she said, "do you even know how fast I could suck your cock right now?!!" and her friend said, "yea she totally could".
Well, he has like 3 girlfriends but I think I could be polygamist for that dick.
Nothing is more awkward than taking a dump while someone is crying in the bathroom.
One of those nights had to have been when we tried to walk through the McDonald's drive through -- and then got in the car with complete strangers. And stole their hamburgers.
In the midst of you puking your guts out, you stopped, looked at the globe in front of you and whispered "America.."
True idk how my parents didn't know I was blackout. I ate like 4 pieces of cheesecake and showed my cousins my boobs
So question, would you consider it morally wrong to grind up Cialas and put it in ones cocktail? Then I get what I want and he doesn't have to be embarrassed and he can win the mental game with himself? I'm only thinking of him...
His new place is a molesden. Like a hole in the ground. It's frightening how oddly private it is.
It rubs the lotion on it's foreskin...
Do you miss the park or do you miss us having sex in public?
i dont know whats worse..that i woke up in a gorilla suit or that its covered in peanut butter
Shaving your bikini line at 11 at night in the Walmart bathroom feels trashy no matter why you're doing it.
i liked you for your lack of ambition and abundance of weed
The car smells like weed is an understatement.
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