Shit chicky whatchu wearin rt now, ur skins?
Oh dear, kinda... in ur sweats!
U look good, r we getting naked in ur car?
tonight would not even compare to the night i tried to pee in the living room
Writing a book: The Evolution of the Douche Bag: From Popped Collars to Ed Hardy Shirts. Doing research now.
Make sure you include chapters on white sunglasses, spray tans, and toxic amounts of hair gel.
so wait, they're fucking, but it doesn't count as cheating cause they only do anal?
he said my vag tasted like ravioli n pennies... i forgot I was on my period
just saw someone puke all over a michigan fan. he didn't even flinch.
Another weekend, another 3 guys I have to awkwardly avoid while crossing campus...
it wasnt like "sexy" or whatever. like...she was smiling just standing there butt ass naked
tasteful.
Umm. Any where really. Alcohol and boobs. Those are the requirements.
I woke up to him eating cereal out of my viking helmet with a shot glass. No idea where he got the milk.
As we were fooling around he told me he was conceived on this bed like it would turn me on.
The best part of my day was getting high in the parking lot of the movie theater and taking pics in the photo booth with the caption "CONGRATULATIONS!" we geeked out because it congratulated us for getting high
My roommate took my designated hickey removing spoon out of the freezer.
You slid down a wall, tried to pull your cast off and yelled that casts were too conformist.
She couldn't find her toothbrush so I had to wait while she sucked on the 12 peppermints she found under the couch. Pretty resourceful for her level of intoxication.
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