when she started arguing that Girl Talk was in fact a DJ, i knew i could never sleep with her
You came on your own forehead. Just wanted to remind you that.
once you have herpes you dont really care what goes in your mouth anymore.
Your expertise in crazy bitches is needed.
Come over so we can have two person sex in this one person tent
I truly wish I could say I pulled my groin straddling our cab driver but unfortunately I cannot
Is there some sort of line being crossed when your shower activities start to involve jimmy johns?
blue gatorade loses no color upon regurgitation
About 98% sure I just walked by some dude jerking it in the library. I'm guessing his college experience isn't going as planned
he sneezed into my face mid-kiss
Bless his heart
We probably shouldn't have humped each other in a stairwell for an hour. that was probably my bad
How do you tell a vegan you want him to stuff you like a turkey?
Still riding the magical train of drugs so, yeah, Id say I feel great
You'll be pleased to know I just had an elaborate day dream about your penis. you were there too.
Tinder has really served to stimulate the number of sex related demons summonings.
Randomize
