he didn't want to fuck because he was too busy skateboarding. what are we 12? I'm too old for this shit.
being alone eating nachos and drinking from a giant munchen beermug really isnt that sad
Trying to figure out if I'm the second dude she hooked up with yesterday. I feel like a consolation prize
Have you resumed life with the rest of the world yet or are you still huddled in the fetal position while wearing compression gear?
Dude, you bit through my nipple. Give it a week, damn.
I have a surprise for you
Is it drugs? I want drugs. Or a puppy!
OMG OMG OMG DID YOU KNOW THERE ARE MINI CHOCOLATE COWBOY HATS THAT MEN CAN BUY FOR THEIR PENISES?
I wound up gambling on giant connect four with the bartender. I think he saw my boobs.
I got really upset about missing him last night when I was demonstrating penis sizes of the people I've slept with using a tape measurer to my roommates
Also lets pinky promise right now that we will NOT play "Pony" outside of each other's rooms if we have a hook up over
You date? I thought you just hooked up with your TAs
You ran up a $300 bar bill on his card and he didn't have you arrested, be grateful and move on.
annnnd thats why you don't tip your waiter by flashing them
last final went out with a bang.. 20 min late bra-less, cum in my hair and i still cant find my shoes.
I like that they’re all named Christopher or Chris. No need to worry about moaning during!
Randomize
