Well how sick are u. Ive got a good immune system.
One of my residents in my hall just found my positive pregnancy test from last year I hid behind the fridge, I'm just going to tell them it was for a science project.
halloween costumes for girls are easy, slutty teacher, slutty cop, slutty nurse, etc...
exactly, that's why i want something interesting
slutty neuroscientist?
the fucking easter bunny is here. he just made 3 cups in a row. no one knows who he is..
Just for the record its a bit awkward when you introduced me to your friends at your house as your brother and then insisted in front of them that I sleep in your bed with you
he said he did everything he could to puke on his nurses because they were doing everything wrong
Thats admirable.
When theres a zombie apocalypse, i will be the only fat survivor. I ate chef boyardi ravioli with part of a pen for a fork
She's opening her family birthday cards at the bar. So we can pay our tab. Bitches wrote checks :(
it was like a shit fog rolling out of the east to encompass me and have it's way with me
When we pulled over so you could pee, you made us stand over you and "make a roof"
Crust to egg proportion prescribes to a pedantic form of quiche. It's like saying breakfast pizza isn't pizza at all.
Refresh my memory....were we forced to leave or did we choose to leave?
He’s really fucking cute. Like, I want his penis in my mouth cute.
I got eaten out in the igloo at snow-kings castle last night.My thighs were literally melting ruts in the ice bench.Definitely colder than the minus 40 blowjob at Desiree's wedding
I just watched your fat stupid son get hit by a Prius. Ran right in front of it. He's all right . But... Maybe you should have taught him to look both ways like a responsible parent does.
Randomize
