Good luck man
I dont need it. Shes easy.
that was after robitussin, alcohol, and chocolate sauce... but before we finished pregaming
His shopping cart was nothing but malt liquor and zucchini.
The used rubbers I threw behind her bed all semester must have landed on the baseboard heater. They went up in smoke when she turned on the heat last night.
Just heard the words 'Pussy Riot' on NPR...I almost crashed my car.
Due to the events of st patties day last year I created a moral and ethical policy so that I won't get kicked out of the bar again. It mostly consists of not wearing pants so then I don't take them off at the bar.. and subsequently get kicked out.
Oh my god I forgot there were Band-Aids on my nipples
her tits were more amazing then brown bears with armor and guns that fire bullets of Justice that destroys inequality.
I'm going to fake an anxiety attack to get to the front of the line. Save me some brisket.
Yeah, I fucked him. and the worst part is his name was Jesus. And nobody said it in Spanish. Just Jesus. There is no way I can avoid burning when I walk into a church from now on.
And he's back on taking these stupid testosterone supplements to kickstart him back into working out. And they just make him angry and horny all the time. I'm like great, just in time to meet my whole family for Christmas.
Like I didn't gracefully walk into these feelings. No, I fucking stumbled and fell face fucking first.
I'm 4,715,723% sure I don't give a fuck.
Why is everyone giving me a hard time for drinking?!
Your in the library.
you have to get here a cop came into the bar and she looks like Sarah Palin. I think I'm gonna try and bang her
Randomize
