I won a flip cup tournbment! Why is boot and rally so hard when youre old?
dude, im still at the bar with two chics... one has a moustache ill save that one for you... be home in 20min..
champagne bombs. Yes, i think that is where things may have gotten out of control.
Life is so much better when you know you're gonna get laid soon.
i gave him a hand job with one hand and held the 40 with the other. this is like freshman year all over again.
story update. I'm locked out of my house. Walk of shame advisory extended...
Hes screaming about Slender man. whatever hes on is probably not healthy.
I might be a bit. I accidently started hot boxing the bathroom. I'm just gonna go with it.
A guy is going to be inside me and I'm gunna start singing "I am stuck on your penis, cause your penis is stuck in meeee!"
I'm really sorry that I blew your friend in your bed, but to be fair he started it.
thanks for piggy backing me around for the rest of the night when I got too drunk to stand.
Your the only person to come back from spring break with a non std related infection
Well you should have thought of that before you were reckless with your butt
The groom's brother was an accomplishment. Then I remembered he was also the officiant. Check and check.
according to the calendar even that i put in my phone last night, i'm supposed to fuck shit up at 11am today... i really hope i didn't miss something important
Randomize
