We all need desperate help. Maybe we should just become a group of people who walk around town and shit in peoples air vents
I'm down.
I told him that all frat guys do it... it was that easy to get him to go down on me.
Its officially tradition: I black out every year on michael jackson's death day..
Tell me right now I did the right thing by not fucking my sick gf at 3 am with her family home... Tell me my balls hurt for noble reasons.
There is a pile of hair outside the apartment next door. At least now I know what all that shouting was about last night.
my dad just paid them in porn...i no longer feel guilty for getting hammered and not helping
So mom called me from the hospital laughing her ass off. Apparently my sister is allergic to cocaine...
He ripped off his socks and ran around the basement barefoot. His feet turned black. Then he chugged Parmesan cheese. He chugged dry cheese dude.
All he did was like my Instagram picture and I'm already planning how to turn down sex with him this weekend...
She took a six hour road trip with me so I could have revenge sex with my ex's brother. That is the definition of a best friend.
Honestly I don't even have room for feelings after that Taco Bell
Remember when I got punched in the face on NYE last year? I don't
I just hooked up with a one legged Australian guy. Hooray diversity!
He walked upstairs in nothing but his boxers and drunkenly asked my brother for a condom....so much for a good first impression.
Your sister just admitted to being a " much bigger bitch" than you. So you've got that going for you, which is nice.
Randomize
