I was thinking about texting her and telling her I had syphilis when I was with her and that she should get tested. just for shits and giggles. skank dahaha
I glued a penny on the door Tricia believes its Patrick Swayze haunting our apartment. Fuckin potheads.
would it be rude to tell a homeless man that he should sell the lebron jersey and brand new nikes he's wearing if he's really that hungry
just fyi, hangover + ice skates = really bad idea
My corndog is like a popsicle of bread. A WHOLE. POPSICLE. OF BREAD.
I had to step in when you tried to make it rain baking powder on my sister
Leaving someone plastered on a corner at 3am telling them to just scream for cock is NOT being a good wingman.
Lemme guess, I was the one completely shit faced making out with the 50 year old...
LOL, wrong number bro. Good luck trying to figure out what happened though..
I'm so hungover all I can do is stare at my curser and hope it starts moving on its own
After giving a back rub to someone in the bathroom of the theater, he ripped an "employees must wash hands" sign off the wall to prove that he could and proceeded to hang it up in his house.
found out that hot proper business chick in my class A) did a bar crawl last 2 night and still showed up to class and B) is 19 and C) so not as proper as I thought D) is single. How the fuck does that work? Freaking superwoman.
OH AND DAN PET MY CAT WHILE I WAS GIVING HIM HEAD
But break dance skills will only take you so far
I don't think "growing medical marijuana" is Quite what my Grandfather had in mind when he thought me about gardening as a child
On a scale from 1 to 10 how gross is it to get a chili dog from a vending machine?
Randomize
