it was average length and chubby
so kinda like him?
now i'm wondering if all guys are shaped like their penis...
You know how i spent all of black friday on the plane? Well guess who's getting a x-mas gift from skymall?!!??
I just remember telling jokes while vomitting
Do you think we could brew coffee with beer? I'm thinking a hazelnut Guinnesspresso can only end with pure awesome.
There is a chick at the bar in a bumble bee onesie, complete with wings. Yeah, I must be back in Seattle.
He said that he doesn't like skittles. This relationship is over an it hasn't even started yet.
All I want to do is shower, but there is a keg in there.
Holy Hangover.. I'm marrying whoever put this water by my bed
I fell asleep completely naked, standing up with my arms and head in the freezer
I mean I could but due to my age and being a mother and all I feel it's poor judgment to give fellatio in a public establishment.
You're the only person I know who would go to New Jersey to give a blowjob and I have so much respect for you for it
That dick was not the dick of a twenty year old
If not, I can murder my liver twice...it's like a cat, it has 9 lives
I just brought her a lipstick taser. So just remember that the next time you get smart with her
So I decided to sleep with him for the first time in months so I can convince him it's his kid instead of the other guy
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