what is it about summer that misdirects my moral compass so much?
your ex dropped by. you can call me dwight howard, cuz im the king of rebounds
she told me i should dip my dick in chocolate and then let her blow me since it was her 2 favorite things. weird or my new valentine for this year?
she literally pooped in the closet. i sent the picture to everyone i know.
It smells like ranch
Must be all the white people
After he told me that it's up to him to carry on his family name, I almost felt bad for not letting him cum inside me.
There's two big trays of water in our freezer. I just hope they freeze by Saturday. for the ice luge.
its Wednesday...
they're reeeeeally big trays
She just passive-aggressively stripped in the kitchen while humming the theme to Doug.
So would it be tacky to offer my services as a future attorney as an engagement gift for her?
So guess who got away with telling their girlfriend she's insane multiple times in a Valentine's day card. Yup, this guy.
I am just saying if Clark Kent walks into your life, you fuck him
This girl braided my pubes while i was asleep. Now i cant get them undone.
WOKE UP NEXT TO A PLATE OF MEATBALLS HAPPY MONDAY
You have the most beautiful penis I've ever seen. I never thought penises were meant to be beautiful, but you proved me wrong
Is it normal for a guy to send you a dick pic along with “He misses you”
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