i don't remember her name, but i don't need it unless we decide to hook up again. but even then, i can get away with not knowing it for a while. it's not like we have actual conversations.
I brought up my Bobbly Flay drinking game in the interview. Of course I got the job.
i gave her a can of corn and told her the cabs are accepting non perishable food items over the holidays. blatant lie and she lives like $40 away
Watching the gap toothed girl get more ass than me is almost devastating.
Almost bit the guy's hand who sits in front of me because he was stretching. That. Bored.
If I'm going to risk life and limb to wear a Wings jersey to the Garden next week, the least they can do is win.
And the most would be ending up in bed with one of them.
I need you to perform a face transplant. Please remove your face from your accounting book and relocate it to where it's most needed - between my legs.
I just want to have sex that doesn't end like a B-rated horror movie.
I woke up this morning and I had the absolutely horrific realisation that I am the human incarnation of scrappy doo
Just when I thought I was growing up, I go out and TOTALLY REDEEM MYSELF
I'll tell you that it involved a pair of pliers and a trip to the ER.
I demand a full explanation right now.
I only spent $42 at the bar last night, it's some sort of miracle.
you do remember it was dollar beer night, right?
That answers my next five questions
You said "I feel like a koala bear. Do you ever just feel like a koala bear?" This is your brain on drugs.
I need to align my fucking chakras
I wish I had a tail.
Why?
...why not?
Randomize
