4 words: hood of his car
So after i got done, she went over and got out her gecko, I felt like I was in an X rated geiko commercial.
Sarah Palin is going to have a show on the discovery channel...Can I get a moment of silence for knowledge?
I'm picking out a half way decent top so if I get arrested I'll have a respectable mug shot photo. Always be prepared.
I don't know, I don't really wanna ask the question, "Mom why am I not circumcised?"
Asking him not to sleep with other girls is like asking me not to have my period apparently
Whore. There is deli meat in my wallet.
Serious question: when you had my right nipple in your mouth, did my nipple ring have both of the balls on it, or was it missing one. Current situation: missing one.
New drinking game: Drink while you Drink. I'll explain the rules when I see you, needless to say, it's not difficult. Unless you enjoy sobriety, humanity and life. Bestest.
He doesn't deserve you. Your ass looks 8 times better than his face ever will. Wanna order pizza and watch porn?
get your sex hands out of my capn crunch
When creating your wedding guest list do you put the girl you & your fiance had a threesome with under your friends or his friends?
If you wake up, and some of your hair is singed off, it probably has something to do with the lit cigarette you put in your hair. You said it could double as a bobby pin...?
I'm too depressed to drink my wine. That is what I would call a serious problem
I climbed on the arm of the futon, flapping my hand fan frantically and hissing imprecations at the smoke detector
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