He was all up on my grill like I was having a BBQ. I DONT EVEN KNOW HOW TO USE A GRILL.
I may or may not have slept in someones apt on your street because they told me I was fun sized like a mini snickers
I think id rather eat ped egg shavings.
He has a tattoo of a carebear. This is not happening.
if your not going to answer your phone this is just going to be an embarrassment tomorrow
Two penises later: I might be straighter than I think.
Dude, I went home and roller-bladed into her bedroom so I didn't have a 'walk' or shame in the morning..I wouldn't talk to her unless she refereed to me as Brink
Will you please bring your dog over today? Apparently I was drunkenly cooking last night. There's food everywhere. I'm too hungover to clean.
I may or may not have traded your body to the rodeo's owner for free beer.
I gasped. Both pairs of lips did.
If you say no to drinking on a Monday then I'm going to take you to the hospital for a MRI
i think god would be more upset with me for turning down such a beautifully crafted cock than he would for me liking girls
Things you Cant unsee: When your smartphone syncs to your dads laptop and downloads photos...including his porn stash.
I dunno, there's just something so\ncomforting about having his penis in my mouth.
I think I'm at a stage of my life where I subconsciously purposefully fuck everything up just to see if I can find a way out of it.
Randomize
