it was like fucking the hulk in a smartcar
mimosa in my stainless steel water bottle. going green is not that bad.
She's never going to forget it... Christmas Anal.
Dude, I fucked her last night with nothing but my bandana on. Like straight Indian chief style.
We are going to be Siegfried and Roy for Halloween and you are going to be the tiger.
I know shes my ex. And I know she punched me in the face and stole my car to go get drunk. But it's the best sex I've ever had.
You're sick. Take pictures if you can.
I am so excited I do not know how I will sleep.
It's like the Christmas morning of dicks
I still count it as showing your tits. Even though the wall was the only one who saw anything. Your boyfriend was pissed.
Hmmm. I never knew the difference. I've done either one and had stronger or weaker versions but usually if i took enough, i tripped balls. That should be a PSA for kids... if you take drugs and the drugs are weak, just take more drugs... The More You Know
She was just a sweet cute intern for us until I saw her naked in my bed the day after the Christmas party
We've given up. My vagina is tired of constant lonely nights and disappointments. This is our retirement.
Well, I'm hung over and my penis hurts - two signs of success
FINE YOU CAN EAT HOT WINGS WHILE WE HAVE SEX
I am a bad person
You slept with him. Was it good?
I wasnt going to but I was too lazy to blow up the air mattress
I'll text you tomorrow when I'm not in someone's torture cave if I don't by noon call for help.
Randomize
