dude, my own friends sent me home from a party last night. real cool assholes. real cool
Is it proper Ass-Fingering-Etiquette to tell her u felt her poop or just pretend it didn't happen?
Everytime I cough, my tampon falls out a little bit. Does this mean I'm loose?
Yeah, all the sudden I heard a loud "ding" and realized I had been passed out on the dorm elevator for about an hour....
This is absurd. I need a man. Or even a moderately-clean hobo will do at this point.
I am way too attached to fictional lesbians.
This place smells like bottom shelf liquor and broken dreams
WHO JUST REMOVED THAT SAME BOARD IN TWO MINUTES FLAT WITH NO INJURIES, SHOES, SOCKS, OR BRA?! THIS BITCH. CRACKIN A BEER FOR DA SHOWA. BITCHES AIN'T SHIT MOTHAFUCKA
We're getting paid a considerable amount of money to send each other pictures of our dicks...
It's like the dark age of my sex life being stuck here
Hello my rib-scented angel!
All I remember is being lured out to sit by the fire by you holding a piece of pizza in front of me
I feel like I'm in a astronaut outfit like I'm a spaceman & I'm just floating around cause that's all you do in space is float and I'm floating to be in detail
Houston we have a problem
My ex unfollowed me on SPOTIFY bruh. Freaking spotify. The butthurt is real
The best part of being a lesbian? If I'm late for work at a hookup's place I can use her make up and peace out. Well and all the sex of course.
Randomize
