At any point in time, have you stopped and thought "I wonder how high Willie Nelson is right now?
I was so high i started crying when i saw how much puppychow was there.
just took my birth control pill with a shamrock shake. happy st. patrick's day
Clearly I made an impression.
Or at least your vagina did.
it's official, after last weekend my girl number is higher than my guy number. fix this.
Exactly, finding that perfect flask to come with you on all your adventures is like finding the perfect wedding dress. You have to feel it.
Got robbed by knifepoint. Then got sympathy Bj. I might have to walk down Austin ave drunk every weekend
I just slow jerked to the titanic theme song, i dont think theres enough alcohol in the state to get me over her tonight
No he exists. Who else tells me no matter how drunk I am to pull out. He's watching over me so my bastard doesn't get created.
i mean i'm drinking free wine with lesbians and listening to sinead oconnor so i'm not sure who won that breakup
the kid next to me in math class is drawing gay porn. it's good, but that is beside the point
I love the smell of your bedroom. It smells of a mixture of cherries, leather, and unrequited homosexual desire.
Found her grinding on my boss with her tongue down her throat last night. Guess who just got promoted!
You know its a good night when ur woken up by the bartender asking you how he ended up at your house
We walked around last night for hours saying nothing but nom nom nom and barking at each other.
Randomize
