they need to just BURY HIM!
Can the rest of this semester just go by as a montage?
All I know is I woke up next to her beside the toilet
The more I stare at her and block out what she's actually saying with thoughts of what she could be saying, the more interested I become
Cavemen vs astronauts. weapons to be determined. Who would win?
THC water in my coffee on the way to work. How's your Tuesday?
As soon as they started using chocolate milk as a chaser for captain Morgan, I thought l it'd be best to leave.
Marking my student's "don't do drugs" posters while simultaneously texting my dealer, is this what being a grown up is like?
Note to self: don't tell your girlfriends dad you can have his daughter in bed by ten and home by midnight. He doesnt find it funny
You have to understand, he didn't so much come out of the closet as he backflipped out of it with an accompanying marching band.
Yeah I'm at work. Nothing like the threat of blowing chunks on passing cars to make you feel alive.
i just honestly didn't believe you when you said your brother was a fucking clown. ho shit you weren't kidding.
It is a fiery spray of napalm-covered beautiful words that leave a flaming "fuck you" on the ground after I destroy him.
I was too lazy to get my chapstick out of my purse so i lubed up my lips with pizza grease. On a scale of 1-10 how embarassed should i be?
I don't know where you went, but if you're anywhere near the liquor, pour me another drink
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