also, made friends with this 75 year old millionaire Tony who likes to mosh. Don't ask.
i just watched kanye west and taylor swift have a chugging contest. why cant halloween be every day
a guy from my religion class just walked in with a red cup. hello first friday of 2nd semester.
Only your vagina holds the key to what happened last night.
Why are you covered in frosting?
Friend's birthday situation turned into enlightened cake orgy.
I love having a vagina, its like having the keys to a city
There r osticjed everywhere
Its summer. Time to get to the freshmen before the weight does.
We split an eighth of shrooms and went ice fishing. It didn't get weird until I caught one and we both started crying.
I was living a snoop dogg song I fucked her on the floor so I wouldn't mess up my bed
Didn't think the day of being the oldest in a club would be when I'm twenty one. Even the bouncer looked surprised when he ID me.
Update: drank half a bottle of Bourbon and texted three ex's. Waiting for the roommates to go to sleep so I can raid the fridge.
I'm killing it this week, I've peed my pants and put my vibrator into the washing machine.
We celebrated Cinco the right way. We took shots of 1800 then he fucked me while Selena was on TV in the background
I just made the same noise looking at my salami sandwich as I do hooking up with you.
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