just ask for directions from a guy with a penis drawn on his window
I just answered "If only I knew" for a quiz in criminology, she loved it. I got an A
there were at least 5 of us standing around the bathroom stall cheering you on to throw up.
how are you not completely traumatized after 8 years of friendship with me?
i think i made a good impression on his friends wen i survived 55 cup beer pong
Your lower body and my face have had way too much contact lately.
another part of my inner child died when i emptied my crayon bank for dollar beer night.
You rubbed your penis on my leg and said "people have paid for this kind of action"
We need large glitter to throw at people to signify our mystic nature
Fuck their feelings and their drinks they will get hit with sparkly confetti
Of the past 48 hours, 46 of them have been spent naked. I'd say it's been a good two days.
IM AT A ROOFTOP FUNDRAISER LOOKING OVER THE WHITE HOUSE I WILL NOT RUIN MYSELF
But really, someone with a penis give me attention before I start posting nudes on Instagram.
I plan on getting so intoxicated, that I think it's MY own birthday
Can I play this game?
He started me on Celexa. I think I feel like Bjork. Is that normal?
Like... my feet feel like little octopuses, and they want to swim to the next room.
We were supposed to have sex but we had smoked so much neither of us wanted to move.
Randomize
