Turns out "bordello" doesn't mean what I thought it did.
it really sends the message that i like to impregnate mortal women and have them birth fantastic half man-half god infants.
5 Four Lokos being cheaper than a case should be illegal.
thank you for tagging me in all my pictures as "skank" and yourself as "made by the hands of God"
you went over to those random dudes and told them you were an ordained minister and would like to bless their food. they laughed and agreed, then you said "now bow your heads in prayer" as soon as they did you grabbed a taco off their tray and bolted out the door.
and somewhere between crying in her arms and throwing up in her front yard, we became friends.
Went outside and he was playing rock paper scissors with a cop over a drunk in public ticket.
The point remains that this is the setup for some great stories
Or terrible, horrifying, traumatic experiences
great clearly means different things to us
My apartment is also really close to an alcohol rehab in case I get out of hand
How bout we save the 40s for when we FINISH the project this time..
Just once, I'd like to make it to my first wedding anniversary for a change.
I wonder how horrible I look to customers. There's cuts all over my face and I can't talk.
What are the cuts from? Head-butting the bathroom light fixture?
Honestly that's best case scenario.
I cannot believe all 4 of us had sex at the same time, in the same bed... And it didn't turn into a foursome..
I just bought two cartons of ice cream, 5 boxes of mac and cheese and a bridal magazine. Don't judge me.
After everything I’ve done… had sex with people off tinder, gone to clubs and bars, gone to hockey games…. I get Covid at GRANDMAS HOUSE
Randomize
