I threw up into my coffee this morning.
Drunk off five beers on a Tuesday. I'm not sure which part of that statement is more sad
He must be back home now. He moved his box of beer from her porch to ours.
Do you need a place to sleep? Cause I fucked in the guestroom a few weeks ago and never washed the sheets. But if you don't care neither do I.
I was naked with an australian flag taped to my boobs. Damn internationals think they can claim everything.
There's a fried egg and an empty bottle of reddiwhip in the parking lot. Did you have fun last night?
all I wanna do is swim in an Olympic sized pool of Gatorade and tylenol.
Adderal just makes me love life. I want to do so much. I just can't stop thinking about all the wonderful opportunities we have and how lucky we are and I want to make a difference in the world. I just have to reign in my brain and convince it that changing the world starts with a college degree, which depends on studying for these finals.
I think 2012 will be the year I purposely put myself in awkward situations. Much like 2011 but really trying this time. Like fucking the little sister of a girl I already fucked and dating a chick that lives with her ex. It could be awesome or horrible.
I'm sure me singing - rather loudly - "fuck me in the back seat" last night didn't help either.
You should have. Partying with 60 year olds and batman is so much better than partying with bitches our age.
Can I just have sex with him and then never talk to him? I need him to be the Mr. Miyagi of my sex life.
Like an undercooked grilled cheese that got cold again. But hairy.
And there goes my desire for sandwiches. Forever.
Let's get a hotel room this time. I really don't want to sleep in a Dennys parking lot again.
How many Wendy's frosties do you think it would take to fill a bathtub?
Randomize
