I just saw how many times I called you last night. You're welcome.
he said 'i want to be the peanut butter to your jelly, just without the crust' and then tried to take me shirt off
We went to red robin and there was a 15 minute wait so we went and fucked in the car. Quickies, endless fries, and a mascot handing out balloons- this is literally the night of my dreams.
He gave me an orgasm with his left hand...and he's right handed. Of course he's a keeper.
Just wandered into a surprise final. Only a surprise for me though. I wish I could say this is the first time this has happened.
and then he put stevie wonder on to fuck to...and hummed along as I blew him
Just pulled back my covers. Jizz. Jizz everywhere. Hipster jizz everywhere on my only set of sheets.
Dont eat ANYTHING off the floor at Matt's house. He likes floor sex.
they were having sex on the toilet apparently and everytime someone knocked they flushed. it was like an auditory scoreboard of sex duration.
Last night we got home from the bar and saw a fox outside and we lured it in the house with a piece of cheese. Just wanted to party with some potentially dangerous wildlife I guess.
Seriously, this trumpet player gives me chills. Might be the drugs.
this st patricks day sucks
ill send jameson via bank tube 150+ miles
My date bailed but I got to take a nap so I'm cool with it.
I don't care. She's the only girl to make me feel like my face is melting when she blows me.
Sorry, that was mean and I didn't mean it. I'm just mad at condoms
Randomize
