her and i fucked to a michael jackson song and she had it memorized so she squealed every time he did
I cant leave dude. theres a horse with a top hat on
She has a facebook friends list called oops. theres 33 people in it. she said its all the guys she regrets fucking.
Hey did where's my bong?
In the tree out back .... Top branch on the right
Should I bother to ask?
He's minimum effort, but maximum fuck.
watched two friends get underages. one had a shirt on that said lets get wasted while the other said to the cop "i understand your just trying to do your job but that was dirty bro".
Ugh I hate you, and the responsible adult life I pretend to have during daylight hours
wait can you just like go into detail with this penis touching thing? like was it a hand job or was it like a day at the petting zoo or something
Omg that was my second thought of the morning.
First was that we had pop tarts.
okay we need to get tested.
no YOU need to get tested. I'm just going along for the ride.
Life lesson: if a hot naked girl tells you to spit on something, you spit on it. No questions.
- I'm finally learning to be functional when I'm high. I feel like this is a milestone.
They think I fractured my spine while doing your cousin on concrete.
Want ramen today?
I need a salad
SALAD DOESNT WARM YOUR HEART AND BELLY
Grandma had me open the boxes that were delivered today. She got a sex swing, I've settled on "You go girl" as my official reaction.
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