I dont shave on purpose to keep myself from being slutastic!! it usually works
Apparently I farted on her in my sleep. Then, just to be sure she was cool, I did it again on purpose and she didnt say anything. So, WIN?
So apparently when I roll on X I find 'dick ina box' not only hilarious but also sexually arousing.
I wish there was a morning after pill that made you instantly sober
Her best guy friend really had a thing for her all along.... Now we're back together and he's gone Dawson's Creek with his away messages.
just saw a girl who had one of those monogrammed backpacks... her initials are VAG. is this a sign?
I think hes settled down now. He's just licking the walls and the windows.
Supposedly i was taking multiple birth control pills while screaming dot judge me. Never going back
For the record, chili cheese fritos are not a chaser.
Dude I've kinda accepted I may leave Nola with the clap.
We're only going to be this young and this cute but for so long. And how often is it that a pack of Albanian law students is in your house?!
The 78 year old woman who works next to me divorced her ex husband, remarried her first husband, and retired all in one day. I'd say it makes your breakup on Valentine's day pretty insignificant.
So basically he is jobless, a potential serial killer, and has poor taste in music? We simply don't have time for that.
i am no longer ashamed when i walk into the dining hall for sunday brunch and i'm greeted with applause for suriving my weekend
The only words we could get out of him as he stared catatonically into space were "Everyone I know and love is dead"
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