She goes outside, smokes 2 cigarettes, and insists on walking up the 7 flights of stairs so that her heart stays in shape. this woman is crazy.
I don't even know why I got my vag waxed
Ugh, tell me about it. As each day passes and the hair grows more, I get a little more depressed.
Uh, do you remember who's thong is in my tree?
in my drunkeness I still was able to plan for the morning. I duck taped my keys, a water bottle full of mimosa and my cell phone to the front door.
They all laughed at me when I bought that necklace from Life Alert. Who's laughing now?
i just remember doing it on a pile of clothes while i heard the muffled sound of his friend laughing. then i realized we were in a closet.
I invented the best game. It's called "what touched my exposed nutsack?" It can range from pillows to toothbrushes
Smoked Hookah in the playhouse last night. Childhood was so fun.
This girl came outta nowhere yelling HOLD MY DICKKKKKK!
I think I'm gonna quit partying for awhile. Piercing my own nose is where I draw the line.
Nvm, he just almost drank his drink from last night, his drink that has the condom in it. Kinda answers my question.
I panicked i brought burritos. Funeral burritos
Apparently I pulled that girl's number while I was trying to insist my drivers license had enough money on it to cover the tab.
I had to fake it. He was punching my vagina like it owed him money and enough was enough.
What do you bring to an "I'm getting divorced party?"
.......Shattered dreams and tequila?
Randomize
