I thought he was joking about bailing you out until I saw the picture of you and the sheep in the morning paper. Were those my boots you had on it
You were so high at Ikea last night that you were convinced you could speak Swedish. The whole the time you were our navigator and when we got to the cashier you were hitting on the lady. When she gave you her number you told her you were saving her number as Inglfurfta cuaue she must be swedish since she works there.
The only thing that would make my night better is if William Shatner came and read me a bedtime story.
im guessing your the one that tried to make bacon in the toaster
Found a joint walking to class. I feel like the environment is rewarding me for being green.
her bf's celebrating 10 yrs of service at kfc...it's safe to say all the good men are taken
If Dave says he's going to have sex with her, he's going to fuck her retarded and turn her crazy. So run.
Dude tried texting you during but she threw my pants too far away
I fell asleep on the floor again. i dont want help, just a pillow. its kind of nice down here.
I can not be a lesbian living on Beaverland.
if you come you're not allowed to wear pants. if you arrive wearing pants you won't be wearing them long.
Rebecca hasn't has this number in 3 months. Please tell all her friends to stop calling at 3 am. We are not interested in buying or selling drugs nor do we want to hook up with anyone. You all need to go to rehab.
I may have had several rum punches and then gone to the store and used European cucumbers to prove my baton twirling prowess.
I just wanna suck his dick on my balcony ya know
He was out clubbing with his SON. WHY did you let me KISS HIM? Also WHERE WAS HIS SON?!
Randomize
