Uhh me and Jacque peed on the street outside the bar last night and wiped with flowers. I vaguely remember her repeating the word "fresh" over and over.
so i slept on a park bench last night...no hobo
Yeah I hope so. Definately just saw two freshmen in very authentic togas and cotton ball beards. This new class is stepping it up.
ok, she started talking about how she swears her step dad killed her mom. starting to back out of this one
She whispered into my eat that she wanted me to fuck her while her parrot watched...
i'm about to say screw it and get drunk in the hotel by myself
It's 2 pm, at least sit by the pool...
You drunk dialed me and told me to jump out of my second story window so I could give you head. I almost considered it.
I picked the lock on the bathroom door and sang him a song while he pooped. Why is he mad?
after the shots you kept on yelling "this is for the dreamers"
My mom just told me the story of how she met my dad through prison. How was your saturday?
If you are breathing, I want you at your house. No non-breathing-related excuses.
We were wearing togas. So having sex was really easy to do without taking any clothes off.
Have you ever hotboxed under your comforter? Best. Decision. Ever.
poll: am I friendzoned if he just called me brochacha? on one hand, he called me bro, but on the other, he used the a to make it feminine.
I can't believe the MLB is making the NHL look good.
Randomize
