I'm fascinated by her cleavage. She has deep cleavage, but no obvious boobage to speak of. Check it out.
Okay you're seriously so fucking annoying its like having a baby
You were asking people if they could pee on you while you shotgunned beers
It took me 40.8 seconds to take a dump at her house, I know because I timed myself.
Your tequila is gone. I suggest you bring more home before you go out for dinner. Money is taped to mailbox.
He wanted to feed hamburgers to the homeless... as a first date... who the fuck is this kid
Food lion is just a portal. Cheetos are the goal. Its like not banging a super hot chick cause she is french. She still has the same parts just from a different box.
Now I am going to fly my toy helicopter in the dark.
I stuck my fake eyelashes to his balls after he passed out.
Seeing your one night stand on campus never gets less awkward. Why is Subway the only good place to eat?
Do you think if i wear this shirt with my bengals boxers this kid will fall out of love with me a little bit because that's what I was going for.
I ate her out in the bathroom and she did my makeup. Man i love being a lesbian
one more hour of this work bullshit and I'm off to get high with your cat.
Oh man
I hooked up with the lead singer of the band at the wedding. I am so hungover.
I just need you to appreciate that this is the first time I've ever been cut off and it's at an airport bar in Philly before 1 o'clock in the afternoon.
And he put my hair in my clip while i blew him...and he did a good job
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