We're pre-gaming then going to chuck e cheese's.
If you're joking I'm going to be sad
Just think, the more you drink, the more options you'll have of people you want to hook up with.
First time i ever had an awkward silence during sex.
I told him I'd have sex with him for fried cheese. Does that make me a hooker or just fat?
now were playing what girl doesnt belong in the picture of girls in bikinis.
in light of our recent drunken behavior, i think it's time we seriously consider hiring ourselves a babysitter.
God and karma are having a fucking field day with my body today.
Judging by the fact that he asked me if i wanted to serenade him using cocaine and Taylor Swift I'd say I so have it in the bag.
I saw your relationship status and wanted to write "Now you can fuck with some peace of mind that she isn't giving that other guy she met online a handjob."
I really have a thing for Greek chicks; I feel like while we are having sex she has the ability to make hummus which is just too appealing for me to pass up.
I got my nipples pierced. If you haven't seen my boobs in the past week, you're among the minority
I walked so much yesterday and I was like holy fuck I need to do some cardio apart from sex cause this is ridic
i just got drunk and created an entire Dr Seuss unit for my first graders.
Would an open wound count as good sex or bad sex?
one of my coworkers asked me if I was PMSing today...... excuse me sir, but it is none of your business as to what my uterus is or is not doing right now. fucker.
and yea, I'm PMSing.
Randomize
