I ahte it when I peed a little on my shews. I got a litll bit on the automen in your room too.:/
Tracy!! I don't have an ottoman in my room.
Ohhh....do you have a dog shaped liek un automan?
What do you call a girl with PMS and GPS?
A crazy bitch that WILL find your ass!
He knows as soon as he hits chameleon eye status drunk, he is guaranteed to piss the bed we NEED to push him there
He texted me for drugs this time. Not sex. I dunno if I should be pleased it's not sex or disappointed that I come across as a druggie
There's a certain level of slut that i can handle.... I think she just broke that scale
Who the hell poured a whole pouch of Capri Sun down my throat last night?
your love of good penises attached to ugly faces is disgusting and slightly disturbing.
Calling a preemptive no homo on tonight's activities
Woke up in the ER with a nurse holding my tongue together inside of my mouth and a shattered jaw, the last thing I remember is opening the 151, care to fill me in?
I've grown it out to 70s proportions. I'm calling it my chastity pelt.
I knew you were cut off when you tried to order a "Phil Collins"
At least you didn't sleep with Ashley's uncle.
He says it takes a lot to subdue the urge to just bury his face in my vagina. Of course, I have absolutely no problem with this.
It's 2017. Get with the program. Also remind me never to get margaritas with you ever on Cinco de Mayo.
I still don’t believe you, the dog DID NOT tear down the shower curtain and shit on the floor.. we found you in the fetal position in the bathroom holding your tequila gun. It was you!
Randomize
